First, let me post the TL;DR version right up top: Shirly and I have suspended all efforts to adopt. We have closed our old site, mormonsadopting.com, and have deactivated our account on adoption.com. I’m sure this is disappointing and even heartbreaking to our friends and family, who have held out hope and prayed for us and with us as we have sought the blessing of posterity. We’re simply at a point of spiritual exhaustion with respect to this matter, for reasons that should be abundantly clear in the course of this post. [Read more…]
What is a mother? [Read more…]
As Shirly and I have gone through the labyrinth and challenges of infertility, we have encountered many wonderful souls over the years who have provided us with a measure of comfort and solace. When I shared a link to my blog post on our misadventures with foster adoption on Facebook, one kind sister responded, “Good article. thanks for letting us into your world. sorry for all the grief.”
Well, I hadn’t thought of it in those terms. I mean, yes, there’s definitely grief and pain, but there’s also a degree of peace in it as well. Because you know what? There are blessings to be had from being childless.
As I indicated in my infertility post on my personal site, there are lots of social challenges related to being an infertile LDS Christian. People are curious, ask questions…and, frankly, stick their noses where they don’t belong. Of course, this is hardly restricted to LDS culture; plenty of folks from other denominations, or frankly non-Christian religious traditions, likely face similar pressures.
Nevertheless, such questions are simply intensely personal and invasive. Frankly, it’s one reason I wrote that blog post to begin with: I got tired of being expected to explain myself anytime somebody decided to pry, so I decided to write out an explanation and tell them to go read it. So, being something of a master at creating awkward moments, I have discovered the ideal response that I can’t wait to use on the next person who asks me when we’re going to start having kids.
Are you ready to learn my planned response? If so, click below the fold!